If you feel uncomfortable or hate attention then this article is for you.
For so long I never liked celebrating my birthday or letting people know about my birthdate. Before my birthday I would deactivate all my social media accounts and avoid any phone calls made by my friends and family. Only because I didn’t want to face them. Why? Because I hated getting attention all of a sudden. It was like everything going so normal and then all of a sudden now you’re the center of people’s attention. It felt way too uncomfortable that I wished to get out of my body.
On some other occasions if I tried to change my style and somebody pointed this out, I would get scared with thoughts like “They’re going to judge me, they might think I wasn’t feeling good with my old style or they might think that I don’t look good so I changed myself” etc. Then the next day I will return to my old style. If you can relate then read below the reason why you don’t like attention.
Why do you hate attention?
Attention & Tension
As an older kid, I hardly got any attention from my parents. So each time my parents directed their attention toward me, my mind would scream, “Oh no you’re in trouble, you did something wrong and now you’re going to be lectured or worse questioned”. My sensitive mind associated attention with tension. I felt the need to change something so that I could feel normal or safe again.
Attention & Judgement
People also associate attention with being judged ( which most people don’t like). Feeling judged almost feels like you don’t have free will. It’s like what people are telling you is the truth and you’re wrong to think otherwise. This is one of the reasons why many empathic children have such a hard time growing up because they give away their power to what they hear, not what they feel. People told them they were wrong to think differently and they believed. Whenever they had a different opinion they got a lot of attention. Now some people might like that but empaths normally associate that kind of attention with being rejected in society. They start to feel like their opinions don’t have value. So when in the future all of a sudden they start to get attention, and they start to analyze everything. They will think twice before speaking their truth. Their minds go, “If I speak this and people don’t like it then they won’t like me.
Self-worth issues.
I was always scared of what other people thought of me so I was always judging people based on their facial expressions and my experiences with them. If they complimented me or not I always felt tension. My body couldn’t tell the difference between good attention and bad attention, it always hated it. And eventually, I would go into survival mode.
How to become comfortable with attention?
- Because the body has been conditioned to hate Attention due to past experiences (that hold no power in the now) it can be programmed again.
- Start to practice mindfulness. It will help you become aware of where your insecurities lie and help you return to the present moment.
- Share your emotions. When we hold too many thoughts and emotions inside, our mind starts to make up things and we start to overanalyze everything. So start to express how you feel more or you can begin by jotting down your emotions on a paper.
- Quiet time. If you feel triggered or uncomfortable with too much attention then choose to excuse yourself. You’re allowed to feel whatever arises. Do not try to get rid of uncomfortable sensations when they arise. Let them be there. Train your body and mind to be okay with these sensations.
We all have our triggers and that’s completely okay. We do not need to conquer everything in a day, take one moment at a time. If things get too much then take a break. Be in love with yourself and from there accept everything that arises.
Also Read:
How to forgive someone (without facing them)? – Livin Alchemy