Have you ever felt like you have a emotionally unavailable partner? Or your partner is not attentive enough? Or you don’t feel like you matter in his or her life?
Few more questions…
Do you feel like it’s always you making the effort or conversation and on the other hand your partner is just passively there?
Or do you feel like it’s always you trying to make things work and your partner just shuts themselves off?
If yes, then this article is for you.
Women always have this complaint that their partners are not emotionally present or attentive in their relationship. They shut themselves down and try to avoid or end the conversation that makes them uncomfortable.
Since women are more connected to their bodies, they are more expressive and vulnerable. On the other hand, men shy away from expression. Due to societal conditioning, they hesitate to be vulnerable. They feel scared to express themselves because in the past they have been told to stay tough, men don’t cry, men are strong, etc. So they start to suppress their emotions to feel safe and accepted again. “ what will people think of me if I tell them how I feel”, “People are going to judge me and think I’m too soft”
These statements lead them toward emotional shutdown.
So, whenever you try to express yourself or try to be vulnerable in front of your partner, they get triggered because there’s an unhealed part in them that feels the same emotions but due to societal pressure they disregard that part.
And when you go to them with these emotions, those suppressed emotions come out making them feel like they’re not safe or they need to hide. To feel safe again, they will start to block everything out. Don’t let them in. Don’t let them know. If they don’t know it, they won’t judge you and then it won’t hurt.
Now you’re going to say how do I correct the situation if he or she doesn’t believe in this stuff? Good news there’s a solution.
If you’ve Emotionally Unavailable Partner
Do not go to your partner with this article and ask them to heal themselves. Keep this thing in mind that the world is your mirror, the situation cannot be in your life if it is not in your energetic field. So, instead of trying to heal them, heal yourself
So, the first and foremost thing that you need to know is where in your life are you emotionally unavailable?
Ask yourself in which area you neglect yourself. Or how do you resist self-expression or suppress your emotions?
I know some friends of mine who are very expressive when they are with their partners but when they are with their family or friends they resist expressing themselves. They fear that if they let their family or friends know how they think and feel, they will be judged.
So the way out is to observe how and when you’re showing resistance in your life. Awareness brings light to the unhealed part. Understand that people are reflecting your inner state of being. You can ignore that part for some time but it will manifest itself in your outer world to get your attention. It will not stop its chase until you tend to it.
Do you love yourself enough?
Ask yourself how much you love yourself, your life, or the people around you or are you emotionally unavailable partner too? Most of the time all that we do is demand love and attention but ignore it when we are on the other end.
Also, when you want something, energetically you are saying that you don’t have it. Now if you don’t have it that means your attention is on the lack. And wherever your attention goes, energy flows. So, change your attention from a lack of love to an abundance of love.
- Start to love your present moment, no matter what it holds. Accept it, embrace it like you’ve chosen it. This way you will release the resistance toward life.
- Instead of complaining, choose to compliment people, appreciate them, and tell them how much they mean to you
- Make a gratitude list or journal.
- Write a letter to your partner ( you don’t have to give it to them) and express yourself there. Tell them how much you love them, how much they mean to you, how you appreciate them, what you like about them etc.
Now you will say okay I understand this but I don’t feel like appreciating them when they are like this.
Got it, so before you start to do the love work I want you to go within. Ask yourself how you feel right now. Your mind will come up with different scenarios, some may relate to the problem, some might not. Just go for the underlying emotion of your thoughts. It might be annoyance, rushing, guilt, discomfort, etc.
Observe it, let it be there. Allow your thoughts to be there. Become the silent watcher of your thoughts and emotions. Let the power within you heal you. It’s not your job to do anything, just observe. ( You can read more about this process here.)
Change starts within, whatever you want in your outer world has to pass through your inner world. Go within, and feel more love because when there is more love and understanding within you, you cannot go without it. You won’t demand it now because you already have more than enough. Just wait and see how your world will start to change when you do this. If you’re interested in manifesting conscious partnership then you can join Rebecca Boatman’s 7 day Frequency challenge here. It’s a free event so grab your seat now. Rebecca is a relationship coach who has helped hundreds of women to manifest their dream partner. So definitely join this event.