Have you ever felt like you need to prove yourself or that no one is going to believe you? Has your mind ever come up with the need to do something to make people believe you? If yes, then you need to read this. Whenever I called in sick I felt the need to prove that I was telling the truth and wasn’t lying. So I would try to change my voice or cough a little more (even when I was actually sick). I would feel this immense need to make people believe me. I would often feel ashamed afterward if my mind believed I wasn’t very convincing. So the mind will repeat all the different scenarios in a never-ending loop.
Why do you feel the need to explain or prove yourself?
It happens because of this unconscious pattern that “no one is going to trust me” or that “I would be blamed”. It is possible that as a child you always felt unheard or people around you didn’t believe what you said. So with time, you developed this urge to explain yourself every time because you knew no one was going to support you.
Self-esteem
This also happens when we do not trust ourselves or when we doubt our ability to do something. For example, if you get rejected in an interview and someone asks about it, your body immediately tenses and your mind starts to come up with a reason to explain or prove yourself why you couldn’t do it. So that no one doubts or questions your worth.
Unsafe
Another main cause behind the need to prove yourself is that we don’t feel safe within ourselves. The root cause may lie in childhood but as we grow up, the effects remain. We carry a lot of shame in our bodies and this shame makes us feel unsafe. It’s like the mind is so scared to reveal the things it is ashamed of that it starts to look for excuses to get rid of the situation.
Validation
If you feel like you need to explain or prove yourself to someone this means that you’re looking for validation. You want someone to believe in you because you can’t believe in yourself. So you look outside who will trust and support you. And your mind will play all cards until it may ensure that people approve of you.
Judgment
You don’t want people to misjudge you because their opinion of you matters to you. If as a child you constantly felt threatened when people made wrong assumptions about you then this can be the lead cause. Because now as an adult you don’t feel safe when people don’t believe you. And this unsafe feeling forces you to do everything in your power to feel safe again.
Old Patterns
We measure our worth with our number of successes and failures. Not with what we have learned so far. It is like a pattern coming into foreplay. As a child, you might not have been complimented for your efforts or people only focused on your success and failure which made you believe that you’re not doing enough.
What to do?
- We only look outside of ourselves when we do not feel whole within so the best way to overcome your need to prove yourself to others is to start feeling enough within. Mind may tell you otherwise but being knows. You are enough.
- Start by observing your emotions. Observe that rage or that feeling of being threatened or that need to prove yourself. Be aware of it. Don’t judge, just be there.
- Realize that it is the egoic mind which feels threatened but the Being knows the truth, it is always aware of its innate power. Go within and observe the space around your heart center. Stay there and accept everything that comes in love and wholeness.
When we only focus on the end goal and don’t give ourselves enough credit for the things we’ve done or how far we have come, we remain unsatisfied with our lives and ourselves. Thus, we end up trying to prove ourselves to others because we don’t feel it within. Our true power lies within and the day we realize this truth we won’t need to prove anything to anyone.
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