Parent with highly sensitive child often complain that their child feels too much or they get scared or startled easily. It worries them that their child won’t be able to have a so-called normal childhood. They find it hard to understand that their sensitive mind can handle the harsh reality of this world.
Many times they leave their child alone because they don’t know what to do with their child’s heightened sensitivity which further raises issues of abandonment or they make it their mission to change them into something they are not.
So what should a parent do? Should they get involved in their sensitivity? If yes then when and how much?
Parents often come and say their child feels too much and it bothers them. Well if it is bothering you then you should change yourself, not the child. There’s nothing wrong with your child. You are the one who is constantly reminding him that he should not feel or think too much. And by doing so you are making a walking zombie out of your child as now the kid doesn’t know what to think and feel.
Later, when he grows up he will suppress his emotions and thoughts because in his childhood he learned that his behavior wasn’t validated, he got disapproved of by his nurturers. So to feel safe, validated, or approved by others again, he will keep it to himself by shutting himself down. (the tendency of a future people pleaser)
So what to do? How to solve this without making your child feel any less?
Highly sensitive child can feel you
Highly sensitive child can feel the emotions of people around him. Be aware of how you react in front of your child because they can easily sense you and start to feel the same emotions that you are feeling. It’s their empathic ability that drives their sensitive mind into overdrive. They sense your mood and start to feel those emotions in their body. The body gets into survival mode and their mind makes them believe that they have to do something to feel safe again. And the only way they can feel safe again is by pleasing people around them so that they don’t feel tension in their bodies.
The way out? Watch how you react in front of them.
Every child is a gift
Know that he is not here to learn anything from you. He is whole and complete as he is. There’s nothing wrong with him, not even a single thing. It is you as a parent who needs to learn the art of wholeness from him. He is here to remind you of your divinity, not the other way around.
Express More
Express your love more so that they can learn the art of expression early. Make them feel safe so that they do not hide or suppress themselves.
Suppressed emotions = Suppressed energy
When you suppress your emotions, your life force energy stops flowing through you, making your body weak and more prone to illness. You lose the zeal to live, life becomes just another day to go through. So encourage your child to express themselves more.
Known surprises
Prepare your child beforehand if you have any upcoming events or guests. Make them feel comfortable about it so that their mind doesn’t get triggered by sensory overload.
Resist change
Highly sensitive child hates change. For them, change is next to death. It is so because they are unable to predict what’s going to happen next which leads their already sensitive mind into survival instincts. They start to feel unsafe and do everything in their power to resist the change.
Healthy Boundaries
Don’t force them to do something they don’t want to do, however healthy encouragement is always welcome but if you are too pushy, your child may start to lose his or her trust in you. Because now, in his mind, you are someone who he can’t rely on or who doesn’t understand him.
Communicate with your child
Ask them about how they are feeling. Don’t try to toughen them up. Be the person whom they can rely on.
Triggers
We all have triggers but highly sensitive child feel them deeply. Imagine yourself feeling your emotions and then you’ve to feel the emotions of 5 more people surrounding you. Yup, that’s what an HSP feels. Allow them to feel whatever they are feeling without judgment. Help them become comfortable with their emotions. When you allow and accept your emotions they dissolve quickly.
Multi Tasking
Don’t give them too many tasks at a time they might end up doing nothing. HSP hates multi-tasking.
Don’t compare them
Highly sensitive child don’t do well when they are compared or are in competition. They become more self-conscious and they might try to avoid doing things that make them feel uncomfortable or self-conscious.
Appreciate them for trying
If you appreciate your child only when they succeed there’s probably a high chance that your child will start to avoid doing things he is not good at. He will only do things that bring him safety or comfort. In other words, he will resist going out of his comfort zone. Make them feel comfortable by appreciating them for trying new things. Boost their morale by telling them how proud you are.
Journal
Give them a journal, where they can record their thoughts and emotions. Don’t read it. Allow them the perfect space where they can express themselves safely.
The world needs more HSPs, it is time that we protect and preserve them instead of toughening them up. Just imagine a world where we can sense each other’s emotions and help them through it. The world can become a better place.
You can also read:
5 Ways to calm your Anxious Mind ( As an HSP) – Livin Alchemy